Not that E has been any sort of problem, whatsoever. Most of the time, he's pretty calm and relaxed, with the occasional blurt or whine thrown in for good measure. But a few times now, he's had little fits of crying that seem to have set in from nowhere.

One of the nice things about modern birthing methods is the several days spent in the hospital after your baby is born. Those few days are a good time to try and get used to the whole idea of actually having a child. With nurses present, you can try and hold him, attempt to move him around, and play with him a bit.

And innevitably, during those first few days, your new baby is going to cry. The first time he cries, it is the most disturbing sound in the world. Something is wrong, and this little creature makes absolutely no sense at all. It just screams and turns red. After a few moments, when no one comes running, it's suddenly up to you to fix it.

So during those first few days in the hospital, with the burden of diaper changes and general health concerns lifted by the presence of the nursing staff, I was able to try and figure out what to do with Little E whenever he would cry. It was in that hospital room that I developed the first method of soothing: the lift and pat.

The lift and pat, as it turns out, is most useful during periods of gas distress. As I've gotten to know Eastland a bit better, I've learned to distinguish between several of his more common cries. When he becomes stricken with gas, his complaints begin with a series of odd, almost pained expressions. He pulls his legs up tight and cries in short, powerful lungfuls.

Which is quite different from his cry of loneliness. Seldom heard, since he's almost always with somebody, when he's wondering where everyone went, his cry is a lot friendlier, a brief half-cry. During these periods, the easiest way to soothe him is to simply call his name. Hearing our voices, he often calms down straight away.

Then there's his complaints of exhaustion. At the end of the day, in particular, he often seems to have an hour or so of overtiredness. He's clearly tired, yawning and stretching frequently, yet can't calm down enough to close his eyes and sleep. During these periods, his cries begin with an introduction of frantic panting when it's imperative that you locate and supply him with his pacifier as quickly as possible.

If you fail to locate his pacifier during a period of exhaustion, his benign panting will quickly turn into whines and then howls of misery. It was only after sitting and watching him cry for several minutes, a few nights ago, that I finally picked up on what he wanted. Sometimes, when nothing he's doing makes sense, you just need to sit back and watch and listen for a moment. He'll explain shortly enough.

Of course, the champion of all cries, and the one we hear most frequently, is his cry of hunger. He's got his own clear voice for those times when he needs a meal, and even though I can understand him quite clearly, that's one time that no matter how good I may be as a father at pacification, mom needs to step in.